Makes Me Proud.....

Sometimes my kids make me nuts and I wonder if they'll ever learn to get along and be kind to each other. But, Sometimes they just fill me with pride. They really do. Sunday was one of those days....

Vance is in 8th grade this year, his last year of middle school, which means he starts high school next year. He's terrified of it. He has himself completely convince that high school will be some horribly experience and all the kids will be mean. I've tried reasoning with him, but I haven't had much luck. I've even talked with Myshel and about being extra nice to him about it.

The middle school has a program every spring where they send the 8th graders over to the high school and each student "shadows" a high school freshman for the morning. Vance's shadow day was Monday and again, he was terrified. He knew that the guy he was shadowing would just leave him somewhere and then he'd be lost.

Sunday during church I noticed that he was passing notes back and forth with Myshel. So, I started reading the notes while he was writing back to her. Myshel was asking him about his shadow day and whether he was excited. Vance told her "no" of course. The notebook went back and forth between them. Myshel was constantly reassuring him about everything he was worried about. She even told him she'd eat lunch for him if they ended up having the same lunch hour and that she'd be looking for him in the halls. I had to laugh when she told him that if the guy he was shadowing was mean that her and her best friend and boyfriend would beat him up for Vance. She was just so sweet to him. I had to fight back tears. I was so proud of her that she wanted to help him and stick up for him. I could tell she was being sincere, too.

Monday Vance stayed after school with a friend, so I asked Myshel how it had gone. She told me that when they got to school that she gave him a tour, introduced him to several teachers and his counselor and then stayed with him until he was assigned his shadow. And then, she just looked so sad. She said that she didn't see him again for the rest of the morning. She said she watched and looked for him, but didn't see him anywhere and they didn't end up having the same lunch. She told me, "mom, I've just been so worried about him all day. I just didn't want him to be scared anymore." I was so impressed with her love for her brother. I gave her a big hug and tried to reassured her that he was fine. I also told her how proud I was of her and how I knew that Vance appreciated her love and support, even though he might not ever say so.

Myshel impresses me so much at times. I watch her and see a very beautiful person emerging. She worried me at times, but when I see this side of her, I know that she'll be fine in the end.

Vance's morning did go fine and I think it helped ease his fears about high school. The boy he shadowed did leave him to each lunch alone, but Vance seemed to be fine with that and found other friends to eat with. I'm proud of both of them.

"I'm Sorry I Made You Sick" Flowers

Chad brought these flowers home for me on Monday. He gave them to me because he felt bad that he gave me his cold and that he was only sick for 2 days and I was sick for 10. He also gave me a get well card (picture in the corner) where he wrote another apology! The roses are absolutely beautiful. They really are. One of them broke, so that's why it's in a small vase in front. They smell wonderful, too! I'm so glad that this week I can smell things again or else I wouldn't be able to completely enjoy them! So, let's hear it for Chad! Ahhhhhh, that's so sweet!

My Sweet Boy....

Last week Noah came to me and was very concerned about something. He told me that Myshel and Vance talk about getting bigger and moving out of this house and away from mom and dad. He looked so sad and he asked, "Do I have to leave you, even when I'm big?" I gave him a big hug and a kiss and I told him that he didn't ever have to leave me, that he could stay here as long as he wanted. He seemed very relieved and went off to play. After he left, I looked at Chad and told him to remind me that I said that......when Noah's 30 and won't move out!


A few nights ago we were all eating dinner and Myshel made the statement that I would be so sad and lonely when all my children had grown up and moved away. Before she could finish Noah was in tears and clearly upset. He looked at me with his tear filled eyes and said, "I thought you said that I didn't ever have to leave? I don't want to leave you, not even when I'm big!" I told him again that he didn't have to leave, not even when he was all grown up. He calmed down and went back to eating his dinner. Then Chad leaned over and whispered, "When Noah's 30 and has a family of his own, I'll remind you about how upset he was at the thought of having to leave you."

She Makes a Mother Proud!

McKaylie and Noah ride the bus together. Before school stated we sat down and talked with McKaylie about how she needs to set a good example for Noah on the bus and show him the right way to sit and behave while they're on the bus. We also asked her to look out for him and help him feel comfortable on the bus and at school. She didn't say much about it and we wondered if she was really listened at all.

I always go and wait with them for the bus in the morning. The other day while they were waiting in line, another kid pushed Noah out of the line and he had to get in line at the very end. I watched as he got on the bus and McKaylie grabbed him and had him sit with her. McKaylie told me that afternoon that when she got on the bus that morning and turned around that Noah wasn't behind her. I explained to her what had happened.

The next moring we went out and waited for the bus and when it came the kids all got in line, but after the bus stopped and everyone started to get on, McKaylie turned around and took Noah's hand and held it until they were in their seats. It really touched my heart to see her look out for him and help him.

Noah's teachers have also told me that McKaylie walks him to his class each morning before going on to her class. We never asked her to do that and I know it's a little quicker to go straight to her own classroom. So, she goes out of her way to help him get started each day. She might not realize how much her little gestures mean, but I know that it helps Noah feel a little more confident that she is by his side. I am soo proud of her for helping him and showing him kindness each morning. I love it when I see my kids showing love for each other. It gives me hope that maybe I've managed to teach them something good!

Happy Birthday, Vance!

Saturday was Vance's 13th Birthday. We now, officially, have 2 teenagers in our house. That's pretty scary! Vance had a good day I think. He opened presents, played games, had the dinner of his choice and went to the movie. He was pretty tired that night actually.

I can hardly believe that he's 13. I say that about all my kid's birthdays, though. They just seem to grow so fast and before we know our time with them is gone! We're really blessed to have Vance in our family. He's a very special guy with an amazing spirit. I think that there are truly great things in store for him in this life. As Vance gets older, I see him growing and learning and becoming a wonderful young man, but he'll always be my buddy. We've always had a closeness that I really cherish. He has a tender heart that's full of love and kindness. I have loved the last 13 years with him and look forward to countless more! Happy Birthday, Vance!

X stands for Kisses

Noah tends to be such a daddy's boy. Mom's great, but dad's better......so, when he did this, I just ate it up!!!!

Noah loves to give kisses. He's very affectionate (but only to the people he feels are worthy) I an lucky enough to be one of the chosen ones that he'll give his kisses to. He actually gives me lots of kisses and hugs. So, when Chad came home the other day and Noah ran and gave him a kiss, I asked him what he was doing giving dad my kisses. He smiled and wiped the kiss off Chad's lips and ran and gave me a kiss! Who wouldn't love that!?!

Myshel's Little Surprises.....................

Surprise #1

Ok, let me give you a little background info before I share Myshel's comments..........



About 10 years ago I started collecting birdhouses. As all collections do, it's grown and grown over the years, to the point that I've stopped adding to the collection unless it's just too amazing to pass up. My in-laws made these great shelves for me to keep them all on. They barely fit...................Some of my birdhouses aren't even painted yet, but I just love them all!



I think that I've told you that the housing that we just moved into is small, I mean, it's SMALL! especially compared to what we got used to in Virginia. (Just to compare, we've had to take everything from 3 rooms in Virginia-the computer room, living room, and dining room-and put them into a space about the size of just our living room in Virginia. It's small and crowded, livable, but crowded)



Ok, I also have a much smaller collection of sand and seashells. Chad and my sisters have helped me collect sand and seashells from lots of different places (Virginia, North Carolina, Maine, Florida, California, Hawaii, Guam, Spain, Dubai, Greece, Croatia and a few more, I think) It's amazing to me that the sand is all different colors and shades and textures and even the sea shells have different looks and feel to them. It's a fun collection, that I also love and am not willing to part with.



I have all my shelves with the birdhouses up on the walls, but the sand/seashell collection has outgrown it's shelves and so I gave them to Vance. In Virginia I bought and stained a new shelf for them, but when we moved here it needed to be used for something else. (This is getting to be a lot of background I know, but hang in there, the point of my post is coming soon, I promise) So, my sand/seashell collection has an empty place on the walls for it, but no shelves to sit on.............................



Which brings me to the point of this post, I was sitting on the couch trying to decide what birdhouses I could/would take down and pack away for the next 3 years, so that I could use one of the set of shelves for the sand/seashells. I was having a hard time deciding, I just wanted them all to stay. Myshel came in and I decided to enlist her help. This is how the conversation went.



Myshel: "What are you doing?"

Me: "I'm trying to decide what birdhouses to take down and pack away so that I can use the shelves for my seashell bottles."

Myshel: "Why would you do that?"

Me: "The birdhouse collection is kind of big for this space and I need the shelves for the sand/seashells. So, help me decide what birdhouses to take down."

Myshel, most indignantly: "You can't take any of them down!"

Me, a little taken aback: "Why??"

Myshel: "You have to keep them up. That's what makes this home. They remind me of you and it makes it feel like home. You can't take them down!"

Me, completely surprised at what she said: "I'm just thinking about taking one set of shelves down, so it's only some of the birdhouses.........."

Myshel, interrupting me: "NO! they all have to stay! They make it home!"



I was completely surprised that she even cared at all about the birdhouses. Sometimes, the kids will sit at the table while they eat (the birdhouses are usually in the dining room) and play "if you were tiny and could live in any birdhouse, which one would you choose". And then they discuss which one they would want to live in and why. I always thought it was cute and enjoyed hearing their answers, but never really thought much about it. Maybe they really enjoy them as much as I do. Maybe they do remind them of me and it makes our house feel like home. I don't know, but I do know that I was also completely surprised that my teenager was willing to express her feelings about my collection to me! And it really made me feel so good and loved! Needless to say, ALL the birdhouses are still on the wall.............



Surprise #2
Ok, Myshel was very upset about moving. It was hard on her. She left some great friends and that's hard when you're a teenager. She blames the navy (which it really is their fault), but since she can't take out her frustration on the navy, she tends to take it out on her dad, since he's the one in the navy. Chad seems to understand this and takes it all pretty well most of the time. There have been times when we've had to tell her that her angry is misplaced and she needs to show more respect for her dad and what he does. She may not like it, but the navy puts food on her table and a roof over her head!



That being said, Myshel is a typical teenager and can get very moody and grumpy, especially with me, since I am the one that's around the most. When Chad was deployed there were times when I really wondered whether she liked me at all. On the other hand, I think that Myshel and I have a pretty good mother/teenage daughter relationship and actually I think she has a pretty good relationship with her dad all things considered.



Chad and Myshel and I were talking at the table the other day. I don't even remember what we were talking about, but Chad had joked something about how Myshel would just be lost without him. This was Myshel's answer to him.................



"No, you leave all the time. You're ok, but I'd be lost without mom! She is my rock. When I need some one to be there for me, it's her, not you. Mom is the one that's here when you leave. We've gotten used to you being gone. But mom is the one who has to be here, she's my rock! She's the one I'd be lost without!"



Chad and I were both speechless and Myshel left the room after she finished. We didn't even know what to say. Later I apologized to Chad that she had said that, because I felt like it probably hurt him for her to say that and I knew she didn't mean all of what she said. I also told him that I liked hearing her say that I was her rock, but that it's hard to believe it completely because she was just trying to be indignant to him. He said, "no, I don't think that's completely true, I think what she said about you is true. I think she really does feel that way. I think you are her rock and that's good". I'm not sure how much of what she said genuinely came from her heart and how much was teenage attitude, but I think that at least a little of what she said was heartfelt and again, that openness completely shocks me, but also fills my heart! Maybe my teenage daughter doesn't hate me after all!