The Joys of Going to the Dentist......

Last Thursday I had an appointment with at the dentist's office. It was a new office that I hadn't been to before and so I was having my first "initial" appointment. They take all the x-rays and tell you what they think needs to be done and then give you an estimate of how much it will cost........

I really, I mean REALLY, didn't want to go. I don't have any particularly problem going to the dentist, but for some reason I was just really, really dreading going to this appointment. Maybe it was my woman's intuition trying to tell me something, I'm not sure.

I should have known that when I had to wait almost an hour before I was even called back that it was going to be a lousy experience. I kept telling myself that I was here, I mine-as-well just stay and finish the appointment...... But, it was frustrating sitting there waiting for so long. Here's how the visit went, keeping in mind that all I was there for was to take x-rays, have the dentist look at the x-rays and my teeth and tell me what he thought needed done. That's it, no cleaning, nothing else...............

1:45PM - I arrive for my appointment and fill out the paperwork
2:00PM - My scheduled appointment time
2:40PM - 40 minutes after my appointment was suppose to be, they called me back
They do all the x-rays, 1 panoramic, and 18 of those awful, painful, uncomfortable bite wings!!!
3:00PM - She takes me back to dentist chair, gives me my little bib and hands me the remote to the TV. I then get the typical, "the dentist will be right in to see you" bit.

During my wait in the chair, I keep having an argument with myself in my head, "You should just leave; It's ridiculous to wait this long."----- "You should just stay since it's half over; just stay and get it over with."

3 different dental technicians came in to "visit" with me while I waited, all of which, just irritated me more.......

I watched almost an entire episode of CSI before the dentist actually came in.....

3:45PM - The dentist comes in and goes over my x-rays with me and just when I think that I'm going to get done with this visit from _____, he tells me that he's just going to give some Novocaine to the patient next door and he'll be right back....OH COME ON!!!!!
4:20PM - The dentist comes back, actually looks at my teeth, tells me what he thinks needs done (it took all of about 10 minutes) and then I wait another 10 minutes while he enters everything into my record.......
4:40PM - I walk to the check-out desk and am asked to take a seat and wait some more.......I waited 5 minutes and then the man that was checking people out, left. That's was it, it was all I could take! I walked up to the desk, as politely as I could, told them that I'd been there for 3 hours now and that I wasn't waiting any longer. I told them to just mail me the estimate of my co-pay!
4:50PM - I finally leave and head home.

So, in summary, I spent 3 hours in the dentist's office so that they could take x-rays and have an initial exam form the dentist, all of which took a total of about 40 minutes! I was so irritated by the whole thing! I should have listened to my intuition and rescheduled the appointment!

Keys. Keys...Who's Got the Keys?

I woke up this morning and everyone was still asleep. Well, except for Chad and Myshel. He had already taken her to seminary like he usually does. It was nice and quiet and I was hoping that they would all stay asleep until after I left to pick up Myshel. I enjoyed eating my cereal with no one around to harass me and read the Ensign while I ate. It was a nice relaxing start to the day. When it was time to pick up Myshel I gather up my purse and reached for the car keys. They weren't on their hook!!! I always put them back on the hook! I thought that maybe I had left them in my purse. Nope, they weren't there either. I looked and looked but couldn't find them anywhere. I was really getting frustrated. The seminary teacher has to get her own kids to school and then go to work, so, she can't wait around to make sure that everyone gets picked up. The kids just have to sit at the church until their ride comes and gets them. So, I knew that Myshel would be waiting/wondering what was up if I didn't find the keys soon. I considered waking Noah up and asking him if he knew where they were, because he really likes to play around with the keys. I decided to call Chad first. This is the conversation....

Me: "Chad, do you know where my keys are?"
Chad: "ummmm, I have your keys?"
He took my keys and didn't tell me!!!!???!!!!
Me-trying hard not to explode: "What? Why? Where are your keys?"
Chad: "I don't know where my keys are. I couldn't find them, so I just took yours and figured you could find mine." (It's such a good thing that I love him, really it is!)
I couldn't say anything, I just mumbled some sort of a good bye and hung up.

I was so irritated at him. I couldn't believe he did that and didn't even tell me. I went and woke up Vance to help me look and woke up Noah. Noah was still half asleep and wouldn't give me an answer about whether he had the keys or not. We still couldn't find them. After about 10 minutes, I called Chad back.

Me: "You have to go get Myshel. She'll be sitting there waiting."
Chad: "Can't you call the church."
Me: "And tell her what? That we can't find the keys, she'll have to sit there and wait until we can find them even though we don't know how long that will be? She has to be at school in 1/2 hour."
Chad: "My class starts in 1/2 hour and I can't be late"
Me: "Then you'd better hurry!"

Not very sympathetic, am I? I was beyond frustrated. After Noah had been up for awhile I asked him if he knew where the keys were. He hemmed and hawed for awhile and then like a light bulb going off in his head, he ran to the bench , crawled under it and viola, he found the keys! Needless to say, he'll never be allowed to touch the keys again! Chad called and asked if we'd found them, apologized and told me he was just going to drop Myshel off and not come in, so that he could get back to the base in time for his class. I don't know if he made it not. It was probably close. I hope he did, though. So, much for a nice quiet start to the day!

When Stress Comes, It Comes In Truckloads!

First of all, this is my 600th post!! Is that wild or what! I'm actually thinking that's pretty cool!

Second, this has been and still is a very stressful week for me.

Chad's surgery is on Friday. Sometimes I think the anticipation of an "event" is actually worse than the actual "event" and this is one of those times. Chad and I both are getting anxious about his surgery and will probably feel better once it's over. Well, at least I'll feel better, Chad will probably be feeling a whole lot of pain! And, if you really think about it, I bet for the first day or two, he's not going to be feeling much of anything.....I'm sure he'll be very grateful for pain meds, though!

I've also been trying to deal with the school and the superintendent of special services to find out what's going on with Noah's speech therapy that he should be receiving through the school. We were told that he had to have an updated evaluation, which we got and faxed to him, 3 weeks ago. I've left several messages, but never got a return call. Finally this morning I actually got him on the phone. He assured me that Noah would receive services, but that we'd have to have another IEP meeting to finalize everything. (I knew they that's what they would do!) He said it would be in the first 2 weeks of school. I don't believe that, though. I think it will be sometime in the first month, if we're lucky. So basically, we're really no better off than we were before. Except maybe, that I've conceded to the fact that this is a battle I just can't win.

Which leads us to the 3rd stresser......I/we decided to try and switch McKaylie and Noah to the "other" elementary school that is here in Topsham. Technically, the navy housing we live in is in the "other" school's boundaries anyway, but the school district decided that they'd divide the "navy kids" up between the schools to keep the numbers more even. We tried to get McKaylie in the "other" school last year, but they wouldn't budge. This year with Noah and the trouble we've had with the principal and the speech therapist at their current school, I've been more adament about getting them switched. Plus, I also know that their current school has a huge number of kindergarteners starting this year and the "other" school doesn't. Finally the school district's superintendant agreed to put in our request, and now it goes to the school's I guess. We're suppose to hear back in a couple of days. Meanwhile, we don't know for sure where they'll be going to school, who their teachers will be and where to send the info about Noah's speech. It's frustrating. I think the "other" school will be much much better for Noah, but McKaylie loves her school now and has lots of friends there. She will be very disappointed if we switch her. It's hard when you try and to the best thing for one child and know that by doing that, it will disappoint another.

The dogs are being a handful, lately, too. I don't know what they're deal is, but they're making me nuts. They're stressing me out, too, probably because I'm already stressed and they're just adding to the madness! But they're on "the list" this week!

The last "streser" this week, I'm not going to get into here. Sorry, this one I keep to myself, but it's a big one for me. It's not the end of the world. It won't make or break me/us, but sometimes it just feels all-consuming and with everything else I'm dealing with right now, it really seems to be a heavy burden, right now. I think it's my fault and I think Chad thinks it's my fault. He's never said that, but he hasn't said it's not either. That seems to make it even more heavy. It's not going away any time soon. I can't just fix it and be done with it. But, I'm ok and we're ok and it will all work out in the end, it's just one more thing that's added to my stressful week.

I'm hoping next week, will be better....

Nothing Is Ever Simple Around Here................

Just to warn you, this is a long lengthy rant, but I just have to post it.

Last Monday morning, Chad and I went to an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) meeting for Noah. It was with the elementary school that he'll be starting at next fall. Chad and I were there, the principal, the school's speech therapist, the kindergarten teacher and his CDS (Child Development Services) case manager. We felt like his speech therapist that he sees now should be there, but they assured us that she didn't need to come. They have these meetings to decided what kind of services the school will provide for him for speech, since CDS can't work with him once he starts school. We should have walked away from it with a clear cut plan for next fall; for example, he'll see the speech therapist 3 times a week for 1/2 hour. It would be determined by whatever they felt he needed and what the school could provide.

I knew we were really going to have to fight for Noah, because most schools feel that an articulation disorder, even a severe one like Noah has, is not going to affect them in the classroom. In other words, they'll still be able to learn and function ok in school. Since they feel that way, they won't provide services or offer very little. Noah needs these services, though, and everyone that's worked with him knows that his articulation disorder would affect him in the classroom. He sees his speech therapist right now, 3 times a week. CDS covers 2 of those sessions and our insurance covers the 3rd. The only reason CDS didn't cover all 3 is because they can only offer 2 hours/week. So, we knew that our CDS case manager would back us up on this, too. We were prepared for this meeting and knew what to expect and what to ask for.

However, we were not prepared for the meeting we had. Our CDS case manager had a family emergency and wasn't able to be there, so another manger was there to represent Noah. She'd never met Noah before and could only give the reports that were in his file. Chad and I sat in a meeting where 4 complete strangers, who had never even seen Noah before, decided what kind of services he needed. It just doesn't make sense. That might have gone ok, if they had listened to us as his parents, or even looked at the reports from his speech therapist, but they did none of that. As soon as the principal heard that he was being seen for articulation and nothing else, his whole attitude changed. From what I saw, the meeting was over at that point, even though it continued for 10 minutes more. They assigned Noah to a Diagnostic stage. We were told that they would evaluate him for a month or so, we'd have another meeting and then he would be offered services and get started after that. I was mad, but I also knew that I wasn't going to get anywhere in that meeting AND that I have the right to a second meeting, which the principal reminded us of when we left. I've never sat in a meeting for one of my children and felt like my opinion matter less. It was very upsetting.

I talked things over with Noah's speech therapist and then called the school's speech therapist, who sets up the IEP meetings. I asked for a second meeting. She asked why and I explained that I didn't feel Noah was well represented and I wanted his current speech therapist there and his case manager from CDS. Her answer, "we can definitely do that, but I don't see how it's going to change anything". I was livid! I really was. She got an ear full from me. I tried hard to control my anger, but I know that she got the brunt of my frustration. She told me that she would discuss it with the principal and that either she or the principal would call me back. I knew it would be the principal and it was. I wasn't there when he called, but he left a long lengthy message (voice mail cut it off, it was so long) about how the school system's special services works and how they have to prove that Noah's articulation disorder will have an adverse affect on him in the classroom and the only way that they could know if that's true is if they see those affects for themselves! He never mentioned another meeting at all. He told me he'd be willing to talk it over and explain things to me, but no mention of the meeting that is MY RIGHT!

I understand where they're coming from and I understand that they have their own rules to follow, but what bothers me, is that they are not willing to discuss where Noah is at with the people who have been working with him. If they would talk with his speech therapist, his case manager and the other CDS workers that have worked with Noah, they would be told over and over that his speech will adversely affect him These people are professionals, they get paid to do this, but the principal won't even meet with them???? He's only willing to put Noah in the diagnostic stage. That might not sound too bad, so I'll explain my objection to that.

According to them, it will take 3-4 weeks to complete the evaluation of Noah, then they set up another meeting to decide what they'll offer him and then he'll start his speech therapy. So Noah would be at least 3 months into school before they even start any services and knowing Noah and how reserved he is with new situations, it will take them another month before the speech sessions are really doing any good. 4 months into school before he's seeing any benefit is not ok with me, especially considering that there are professionals that have been working with Noah for almost 10 months now that could tell them exactly what they need to know and we could skip the evaluation time and he could start services on the first day of school! I understand what they need to know about Noah, I just don't understand why they won't accept the information that's right in front of them.

So, I went back to Noah's case manager and found that she was equally as frustrated. (through other means, I found out that the entire CDS office was fuming over our EIP meeting and the principal) Anyway, she said that she'd call the school's speech therapist and work on getting the 2nd meeting, which she did. She called me back and told me that it really sounded like it was the principal and not the therapist. I wasn't surprised. I haven't heard great things about him. Our case manager and the therapist decided that they would go directly to the school district's superintendent of special services and get the meeting with him. I felt better, not great, but better.

A few days later, I got a phone call from the superintendent himself. He told me that he had talked to the school's therapist and she had explained about the meeting and how things were going. Unfortunately, her version of things was not very accurate. She told him that we were told that Noah would start receiving services on day one of school and that while doing that, they would evaluate him, not true! He also told me that they based their decision on the fact that there was no speech/language evaluation in the file that they were given in the meeting, also, not true. They wouldn't have known if there was an evaluation in the file, because they never asked for one. They only looked in the file to see that he was an articulation student.

The superintendent tried to explain to me that that's what they meant by putting him in the diagnostic stage. That's ridiculous! What they told me in the meeting and what they told the superintendent were two completely different things. If they had told me in the meeting that they needed a current evaluation, I would have told them that I'd get it for them. If they had told me that he would start services the first day of school, I would have signed paperwork to agree to it. Once again, I was mad. I explained to him that I didn't want them to spend the first month of school evaluating him and why. He told me that if I'd drop off a copy of the paperwork from Noah's therapist then he'd set up services.

I went to Noah's speech therapist and told her what he'd said. She's worked with several different school districts in the area and knew what the schools needed. We used one of Noah's speech sessions to complete the testing so that they would know exactly where Noah was right now. I took a copy of that paperwork and dropped it off at the superintendent's office. In a quite condescending manner, he told me that's not what he wanted and that if I'd just give him permission, he'd talk to our speech therapist himself. So I gave him my permission. And we wasted another one of Noah's speech therapy appointments to do language testing, even though, it's already been established that Noah doesn't need help with language.

So, here I am, waiting to hear from them yet again. I've done everything I'm suppose to do and then some, but yet, I don't feel any better about things. Although I do think that they'll offer Noah services (given the testing, how could they not), I don't think they'll offer him what he really needs. I think they'll give him the very least that they can. If that is what it comes down to, then we feel that we'll have to keep him in private therapy, too. That means he'll have to leave school early at least once or twice a week so that we can take him to Portland for his speech therapy. Doesn't that have an adverse affect on him in the classroom???? It's ridiculous! I'm frustrated beyond words that something that should have been so simple has turned into such an ordeal. I'm hoping that they will surprise me and put Noah's needs first, but I'm not holding me breath.

A Whole Lotta Complainin' Going On......

That's right and I'm the one complaining! I'm sorry, but I just have to get it out!
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Complaint #1:
Chad's chief told him last week that he was going to a school in Norfolk for a week! Now I could complain about this for a list of reasons, but I'll choose just a few......
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First, I think it's ridiculous that they didn't tell him sooner and they didn't ask him. The chief has known for weeks about this, but waited until 10 days before to tell Chad that he had to go! It's not a school that has a lot to do with Chad's responsibilites here, either, so why does he have to go?
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Second, We are on shore duty. I know that means nothing to most people, but I just spend the last 4 years doing sea duty, which means that Chad was around maybe 1/3 of the time. We chose to come to shore duty, basically took a pay cut to do it, so that we wouldn't have to be apart for the next 3 short years! I know he's only going to be gone for a week, but I don't care. It's still time apart. I earned shore duty! I should be able to get what I earned! Plus this is only the first of 3 schools they are sending him to. The next 2 will be in Jacksonville, FL for a week, each. Those are the ones we know about.
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Third, He's going to Norfolk and he's going to see MY friends while he's there! MY FRIENDS! The ones that I would just kill to go and see, but no, I'm going to stay at home, take care of his 4 children, his house, his 2 cars, his chores, etc, etc, etc. Can you tell I'm irritated about this trip, well, I am!
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Fourth, the chiefs gave Chad the attitude that if the advance expenses didn't come in time, that he should be more than willing to pay out of his pocket and then get reimbursed for it. I DON' T THINK SO! Unfortunately, I don't have $1400 to pay for a stupid trip, that I don't think Chad should have to take, that I don't want him to take and then wait for the navy to reimburse us!!!!! This trip is for the navy, he didn't choose to go, they're making him go. He should never be expected to pay a dime of it, wheather the advance money comes in time or not! Stupid people!
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Complaint #2
The radio/CD player died in my van! There's some factory amp or something that no one can seem to find, so putting in a new stereo just isn't working. I don't know all the details about why, but what I do know is that, I have no radio! I have to drive Noah to speech, in Portland, 45 minutes over, 45 minutes back, 3 times a week and I have nothing to listen to, except Noah, rambling on about EVERYTHING. It's driving me crazy. Does Chad go without a radio in his blazer, no he does not! (It bugs me a lot that there isn't a clock now, either)
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Complaint #3
Am I the only one, serisously, out of six people who cares what our house looks like and is willing to do anything about it! (That's always a complaint, but I was on a roll, so I thought I'd throw that one in)
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Complaint #4
Maine drivers stink! Really, they do. (Remember, I'm on the interstate at least 6 hours a week!) There might be those few exceptions out there, but for the most part, they are lousy! They cut you off, they can't merge worth anything, they never let you in to traffic and I swear some of them don't know what the signs mean, or maybe they just don't care! It's as if they might die if some one gets in front of them. AND they speed worse than anywhere I've seen. I'm usually going 70 on the interstate (5 miles over the limit) and people blow past me like I'm standing still. Not just one or two people, but 20+. Seriously, they're in Maine where do they really need to get to in such a hurry. I have kids in the car, you know!
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Complaint #5
This may be the one that "broke the camel's back". My clothes dryer died! It just died, no warning, nothing. It just stopped working. We had housing check the outlet, just to make sure that wasn't the problem. It wasn't, of course! Chad said he'd check the switch and see if that's what's wrong, but realistically, he's not going to get to it before he leaves. I know Chad, he won't. Which means I'll have to take my clothes to the laundry mat to dry them (like I didn't have enough to manage for the week that he's gone!). And, if it's not the switch or something simple, then we'll have to buy a new dryer, along with the new radio for the van, with money, we don't have.
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I have more complaints, but I'll stop there before I end up in a pit of misery I can't get out of!

Stupid Housing People........

There are parking bans in Topsham when it snows. I know that. If it snows, you're not suppose to park on the street, so that they can plow. So, last night when it RAINED we didn't think anything of it.......This morning we woke up and found that Chad's blazer had been towed. Complaint #1--The city doesn't plow our streets, housing does. Housing is suppose to give notice before they tow. They didn't!
Complaint #2--The last 3 times it's SNOWED they didn't tow anyone or give any notices. (we weren't parked on the street, but we know people who were....)
Complaint #3--IT DIDN'T SNOW!!! IT RAINED!!!
Complaint #4--It cost $100 to get our blazer back
Complaint #5--They towed over 20 cars last night. So, apparently the entire neighborhood, not just us, didn't realize we couldn't be parking on the street and they still felt justified in doing it.

It's the Christmas season, right? The season of giving....showing brotherly love???? What a great way to treat the people who rent from you! I haven't liked this housing since the day we moved in and my dislike continues to grow!
Merry Christmas to you, too, GMH!

Bah-humbug...............

Now that Thanksgiving and Myshel's birthday are over, I should be concentrating on Christmas...should be.........I just haven't caught that Christmas bug, yet. I'm trying to catch it.....I did put my Christmas village out, but it mostly reminded me of how very little space we have in our house.........we've talked about putting up our tree, but yet again, we have nowhere to put it. Well, I guess we do have a small corner in the living room, but that also means that the tree is going to be about 1/2 the size it usually is. I suggested that we skip the tree altogether this year, but Chad was the only one who agreed.......I even put Christmas music on my blog page, but even that didn't help much. I'm hoping that as Christmas gets closer and I put up more decorations, that I'll caught that little holiday bug and feel excited about Christmas, but right now, we're leaning a little on the bah-humbug side!

Grumble, Grumble

Noah has a thing about his clothes! He's very picky about what he wears. There is very little rhymn or reason to his preferences, though, which makes it very hard to please him. He'll wear a pair of pants one day and then not want to touch them again! It's very frustrating. (I know you're starting to laugh, Donna, but it's not funny!----I blame you for cursing me with this!)

I knew that getting him dressed for school was going to be a challenge some mornings. I expected it, so I wasn't surprised this morning at all when his "I'm not wearing that" attitude started. I was surprised at the magnitude of it, though. After deciding that he wasn't going to wear the clothes that we picked out the night before, he put on a pair of his favorite pants. They were just too small and they had some little holes in them, too (who knows where they came from) I just couldn't let him wear them and I told him he couldn't wear them. What followed was an ugly display of tears, anger and meltdowns. Basically he decided he wasn't wearing any other pants and that was that. I hate having these kinds of confrontations with him. I have to pick my battles with Noah and I hate it when it has to be over clothes. I kept trying to give him choices of things he could wear, but all all he would do is just get mad. I knew we were going to run out of time to get him to school. I told him he had to get dressed or we'd be late and his answer, "I don't want to go, anyway".

Oh, he frustrates me. Finally, after an hour and a half, he was dressed, and we were walking out the door.............and the phone rang. It was Noah's school. They were cancelling classes because all the teachers were sick with the flu......WHAT!!!!!!! I just spend an hour and a half getting my stubborn little boy dressed for school and they cancelled it! I couldn't believe it. When I told Noah that he wasn't having school today, he asked me if he could change his clothes. I told him he had to stay in them for awhile because of the fit he threw about getting dressed. Which led to another 20 minutes of anger and tears on his part. He has calmed down now and doesn't seem to care! Surely there must be a "how-to" manual on being a good mom--because I really need it!