"So Frequently we mistakenly believe that our children need more things, when in reality their silent pleadings are simply for more of our time."
***President Thomas S. Monson (Ensign May 1994)

Thursday, August 28, 2008

I'm Going To Be Honest.....

In 5 days school will be starting for us. On one hand, I'm totally ready to boot their little butts right out the door and not think twice about it.......but on the other hand, I'm a little sad, a little worried, and somewhat dreading it!

I'm a little sad because all 4 of my "babies" will be in school all day. Even though Noah was in school for 1/2 days last year, this year will be different. This is elementary school and the start of his little future. There's a big part of me that loves having my kids around. I love seeing them play and hearing them laugh during the day. And it's sad that except for during the summers and school vacations that that part of my life--having a child not in school yet-- is over. I know that most moms are jumping for joy and don't get me wrong, part of me is jumping for joy, but part of me, a big part is sad.

I'm a little worried, because with school comes worries and temptations and worldly "stuff" that I can't control. I know that Myshel and Vance are experiencing things that I really wish I could shield them from. And I have to hope that I've taught them well enough to handle high school and middle school on their own and to make good choices. I think that's scary. With McKaylie, she's been forced to change schools yet again. She has a great attitude and I know that she'll do great, but I can also see the worry and fear in her eyes about starting something new. And it's there because of the choice I made to change schools. It breaks my heart a little. And, Noah...Noah, Noah, Noah. He has challenges to face that my other kid's didn't have. His speech disorder is going to be a big thing to overcome. I worry about him. I know he can and will do great, but it's hard as a mom.

The dreading part, well that's easy. I dread getting up early every morning for seminary. (I am NOT a morning person!) I dread getting 4 kids ready to go on time. I dread all the running around that school brings. I dread 3 different school's parent/teacher associations. I dread homework for 4 kids. I dread all the paperwork that comes at the beginning of the year. And I dread trying to make time for everything that is suppose to fit into the day.

But, no matter how I feel today, on Tuesday school will start and I'll learn to deal with everything and it will become just life as I know it. And it probably won't be as bad as I anticipated it!


Maine Mom said...

This is a new stage of motherhood for you. I'm not there yet, so I can't offer any words of wisdom, but I'll look forward to yours in 5 years. :-)
Getting up at 6:00 and getting Eleanor ready for school is going to be an adjustment for us.
I hope looks do go better than anticipated.

Marie said...

I know how you feel. Sending Ivan off, even though it is only a couple of hours *sigh* it just pulls at your heart strings!

I hope everything goes well for Noah. I have been really happy with Ivan's care so...hopefully the same will go for Noah.

And good luck to the rest of the kiddo's on their first day back!

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